In her essay in The Persistent Desire, Lyndall MacCowan says something that seems to shed a lot of light on the ongoing lesbian debates on sexuality, the latest manifestation of which occurred in I:2 of The Lesbian Review of Books.

MacCowan says that “women's” sexual pain comes from being punished by means of their sexuality for being female, while “lesbians'” sexual pain comes from being punished for being sexual (p. 32). These groups are not mutually exclusive, obviously, and many of us have been punished in both ways. Nonetheless, depending on which kind of punishment has been dominant in one's life (and perhaps depending on which happened earlier), it's probable that a particular lesbian will be found on either one side or the other of the debate.

Those punished in the area of their sexuality are probably those who have lived a heterosexual life or (like me) tried to, and they will be keenly aware of the ways in which abusive and domineering behavior can be confused with sexuality, forced on them under the pretext of sexuality, or excused because it is “sexual.” Those punished for their lesbian sexuality will be vividly aware of how “improper” sexual desires can be the reason for hatred, cruelty and exclusion. Both will have low flash points for anything that resembles (or even simply reminds them of) what they have been put through. Thus one group will see plastique explosive in what another regards as Play-doh, and the latter will perceive any request for analysis as another raid by the police.

What the two sides are arguing about is a difference in experience. Both are right. Both are wrong. When one speaks of sexual freedom, the other will react as if the first were advocating violence; when one attacks violence, the other will react as if the attack were against freedom. In this spiraling of perceived threat, one faction will talk about the other's “sex phobia” and the second faction about the first's “violence against women.” Thus in 1982 Kathleen Barry insisted (in Trivia) that Gayle Rubin's wish to repeal age-of-consent laws meant condoning rape in which the rapist used threats of murder (p. 90).