Family is an important informal boundary-making apparatus where individuals are classified along the normal–abnormal axis. This classification plays an important role in enforcing the social norms related to gender and sexuality (Feder 1997). Differences on these axes of identity are not taken lightly within Pakistani families and any individual deemed to be deviating from social norms is exposed to a range of disciplinary techniques aimed at correcting their socially defined deviant behaviour. The disciplinary practices and violence to which the young khawaja sira are exposed in their families seem to stem from two different impulses. On the one hand, parents are concerned for the safety and well-being of their child who, they correctly suspect, will be seen as deviant or abnormal, will face bullying and harassment at school, and will probably not find formal jobs later in life. On the other, they are also worried because the moral pollution associated with the khawaja sira is considered contagious; it infects their whole family, tainting their name and honour, and exposing all members of the family to harassment, teasing, and bullying. The institution of family is also exposed to disciplinary pressures mediated through extended kinship networks, neighbours, and friends of the family who make sure that the dominant gender norms are followed within each family. Overall, family and (significant) others play an important role in ensuring that children or young adults deviating from such norms either become ‘normal’ by conforming to their gender assigned at birth or get relegated to the formal and informal social institutions meant to ‘keep them in their place’ where it is ‘normal’ for such people to end up.

Categorization at Birth

As soon as a baby is born, the material-discursive apparatus comprising the parents, doctors, bureaucratic rules, social norms, and academic discourses declares whether ‘it's a girl!’ or ‘it's a boy!’ This declaration is supposed to decide the gender and sex identity of the newborn for its entire life and the infant is now supposed to spend life conforming to this declaration in which she/he had no choice.