Human relationships are perhaps the most important single ingredient in happiness. In the previous chapter, we discussed character and spirituality, both of which contribute substantially to human flourishing. There will surely be some overlap in what we explore in this chapter, but the emphasis here will be on interpersonal connections and how they enhance or detract from happiness.

We begin the discussion with an exploration of those agreeable qualities associated with a pleasant personality. What qualities are perceived as agreeable by most people? How are these qualities developed? Then we will look at two areas that are especially important for happiness: friendship and romantic love.

Agreeable Qualities

It is intuitively plausible, and now substantially backed by empirical evidence, that people who possess the following qualities are found agreeable: physical attractiveness, good manners, a capacity for (decent) pleasure, wit, modesty, a certain grace of manner, self-esteem (balanced by modesty), and extraversion. We could no doubt name others, and we should not forget, in our present attention to personality, character traits that are greatly admired — traits such as kindness, generosity, honesty, and fidelity. Indeed, it is hard to separate character and personality traits completely, and the separation here is largely one of emphasis.

Physical attractiveness seems more closely related to personality than to character. Perhaps it belongs to neither, but we know that it plays a strong role in an assessment of agreeableness, and empirical studies show that attractive people tend to be happier than unattractive people.