9 - Avoiding Surgery
Published online by Cambridge University Press: 15 June 2021
Summary
Getting old is difficult, my mother used to say, but the alternative is worse. She repeated this often, and now, so do I. Of course, she had to deal with both the getting old part and the alternative. She was so well at 80 that it's hard to think that she didn't live for another 20 years. Her sister Babe lived until she was 103, outliving Elsie by a number of years although she was 10 years older than Elsie. But life happens, and so does death.
Elsie started developing stomach pains. We began the rounds of consulting health professionals. My mother had always had a stated predilection for Jewish doctors, and in fact had expressed to me her upset that the family doctor I had chosen to go to was not Jewish. But when it came to it, she started going to a white, Afrikaans, rugby-playing doctor, an outlier in her area. This man was gruff and distant, and though I have no doubt about his competence, he was a far cry from sweet, understanding Dr Levy of Salisbury days. I had gone to him once at Elsie’s recommendation when my own doctor was ill, and very shortly after my first marriage had broken up. I was feeling weak and vulnerable. I had a palmar wart, which was growing fast and was quite painful, and I wanted advice about what to do about it. Without discussing options and without preparing me for the brief but intense pain I was about to undergo, the doctor applied liquid nitrogen to the wart. I flinched. ‘Bite the bullet,’ he said. He did not tell me what would happen next, and through the ensuing weeks I dealt with a sore palm with a blackened spot, and eventually, finally, when the wart was loose enough, I was able to pull it off at its root. I did not understand why Elsie was going to this doctor when there were other choices, but I was reminded of the issue of the hairdresser with the bad haircut. What was there still lingering about her not allowing herself to get proper care?
The doctor did various investigations, but it was soon obvious that he had Elsie down for a neurotic old lady (which she was), and as a result did not take her complaints seriously (which was unprofessional but not uncommon).
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- Information
- How I Lost My MotherA Story of Life, Care and Dying, pp. 121 - 126Publisher: Wits University PressPrint publication year: 2021