Let us in this final chapter return to the five attitudes discussed in chapters 2–6 and see what role each of them has to fulfil within the relationship of love as described in chapters 7–8: in what sense is a relationship of love exclusive? (section 9.1); in what sense do the partners in such a relationship seek to be united with each other? (section 9.2); in what sense does such a relationship involve suffering for the partners? (section 9.3); in what sense do the partners in such a relationship have need of each other and of their relationship and therefore experience desire or eros? (section 9.4); in what sense is the attitude of the partners toward each other one of unconditional giving or agape? (section 9.5). In discussing these aspects of love, we will distinguish between the roles which they have within the following ‘dimensions of love’: romantic love, neighbourly love, our love for God, and God's love for us. In all this we must remember that God is not like other people. What then are the limits of using the model of love in talking about our relationship to God, and what is the conceptual price we have to pay for doing so?

EXCLUSIVE ATTENTION

In chapter 2 we saw Ortega y Gasset defending the view that exclusiveness is one of the most characteristic features of love: ‘The world does not exist for the lover. His beloved has dislodged and replaced it.’