Kazu turned two today. He looked adorable in his sailor suit, basking in the attention he was getting. I still think of this day as the anniversary of my giving birth, filling me with fragments of emotions: the bittersweet loneliness of not having my own mother to share the experience with; the kindness and concern from Hiro's parents; the relief and sense of responsibility giving birth to an heir; and overwhelming love for the little creature born. To think Kazu is now two years old!

The birthday party consisted of Sachi and Tamiko and Rokki, Betty Ringhausen and her parents, and the Leighs. Hiro surprised me by cancelling his golf game to be at home for the party, ‘to make sure that Jay-jay doesn't get in the way’ he’d said. Indeed, he had Jay-jay on his lap most of the time, quite oblivious to the birthday celebrations.

Chokugetsu-ken baked a beautiful chocolate cake, and Kazu looked bewildered when it was placed in front of him with three lit candles. Betty told Kazu to make a wish, and discreetly helped him blow out the candles.

Keith and Joyce cut a soothing presence with rosy-cheeked Anna May contentedly snuggled up with one or the other of them. But I noticed deeper lines on both of their faces. Before touching his cake, I noticed Keith close his eyes and bow his head over clasped hands, making me realize how much I simply take for granted.

What will the world be like for Kazu's third birthday? I wonder.

Thursday, 12 November

Rokki reminded me of my fund-raising duties, so I rang Midori Mao to ask for a donation.

‘What a lovely idea! I’ll get money from Wen-tsu straight away,’ she said.

Laughingly, she added, ‘It sounds like fun. I wouldn't have minded taking part in it, too. But of course that wouldn't do, having a professional among amateur dancers, the wrong kind of professional at that!’

Her words reminded me of the attractive girls in cheongsam dresses waiting for ticketed dance partners at the nightclub. How amazing that she so light-heartedly confirmed my hunch.