Headnote

The sole authority for this certificate, and for its date of 9 January 1739, is Laetitia Pilkington's The Third and Last Volume of the Memoirs ofMrs. Laetitia Pilkington… With the Conclusive Part of the Life of the Inimitable Dean Swift (1754), from which the text is taken.

The disgrace and poverty attending the end of Pilkington's marriage had made her an experienced solicitor at the doors of potential patrons, and she introduces the ‘Certificate’ in relation to her lamentation over ‘the Expence of Writing to a Great Man’, which she calculates as almost entirely made up by the payments demanded by the porter, valet and footman. She then introduces Swift as a counter-example, using the anecdote to celebrate the scrupulousness of his attention to the poor, and the rigour with which he imposed his standards on his servants. For the convention by which this servant would have needed a certificate of dismissal in order to seek another post, see Elias's commentary on his edition of the Memoirs.

A CERTIFICATE TO A DISCARDED SERVANT

These Observations I thought proper to communicate, as I am persuaded some of the Nobility of England, will be curious enough to read thisWork, and I do assure them, nothing so much dims their Lustre, as the Arrogance and Penury of their Vassals; which, when they know, perhaps they may reclaim. Dean Swift discharged a Servant only for rejecting the Petition of a poor old Woman; she was very ancient, and on a cold Morning, sat at the Deanery Steps a considerable Time, during which the Dean saw her through a Window, and no doubt commiserated her desolate Condition. His Footman happened to come to the Door, and the poor Creature besought him in a piteous Tone, to give that Paper to his Reverence. The Servant read it, and told her with infinite Scorn, hisMaster had something else tomind than her Petition. ‘What's that you say, Fellow, said theDean, looking out at theWindow, come up here.’

The Man trembling obey’d him: he also desired the poor Woman to come before him, made her sit down, and ordered her some Bread and Wine; after which he turned to theMan, and said, ‘At what time, Sir, did I order you to open a Paper directed tome?