Only a few weeks after my arrival in the US, Victor took me on a trip to Chicago, two hours from Muncie. There I met South African exiles as well as students. I also met African-American friends of these compatriots. A debate soon arose about what it was like for me, newly arrived from Africa, to be there. What were my experiences of America?

I seized the opportunity to probe what had, from the start, struck me as odd, the voluntary separatism of African Americans. I said that, in my view, they were rejecting a hard-won victory.

An African American professor in our midst opened my eyes, in various ways, regarding this issue. First, he asked me whether in the few months that I had been there, I had noticed any racist tendencies from white citizens.

I actually hadn’t, I responded. I added that, if anything, I had experienced a spirit of embracing from Americans of all colours. I had a white host family and there I wasn't experiencing what I would call racism. On the face of it, everybody seemed to be open-minded. Yes, the patronising attitude of my host parents was a little worrying. I never thought of it as racist; it may have had something to do with their ignorance and stereotyping of Africans in general.

The professor listened patiently and remarked that I had not lived long enough in America to comprehend the complexity of their situation. He gave me another look and concluded, ‘You need to spend more time in the US to understand what we mean.’

That was the first time I heard of the term subtle racism. I was told to be a little bit more observant. And, true indeed, when I talked to African American students who came from various parts of the US, I kept hearing that, ‘You, in South Africa, come from an environment of ruthless repression and segregation which is enforced. There is no legislated segregation in the USA, but it exists.’ Many described it as an insidious overhang that shadowed black people wherever they were.

That unsettled me.

My interaction with Americans was not limited to black people only; I had made it a point to learn and to open up my world.