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⁸ Firth, R., op. cit.Google Scholar: Firth, R. et al. , op. cit.Google Scholar; Allan, G., op. cit.Google Scholar

⁹ Harris, C. C., ‘Changing conceptions of the relationship between family and societal form in western society’, in Scase, R. (ed.), Industrial Society: Class, Cleavage and Control, Allen and Unwin, London, 1977.Google Scholar

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¹³ Schneider, D., American Kinship: A Cultural Account, Prentice Hall, Englewood Cliffs. N.J., 1968.Google Scholar

¹⁴ Rosser, C. and Harris, C. C., op. cit. p. 200.Google Scholar

¹⁵ Parsons, T., ‘The American family: Its relations to personality and to the social structure’, in Parsons, T. and Bales, R. F. (eds), Family: Socialisation and Interaction Process, Routledge and Kegan Paul, London, 1956Google Scholar: Harris, C. C., The Family, Allen and Unwin, London, 1969.Google Scholar

¹⁶ Firth, R. et al. , op. cit.Google Scholar

¹⁷ Young, M. and Willmott, P., op. cit.Google Scholar

¹⁸ Firth, R. et al. , op. cit. pp. 404–5.Google Scholar

¹⁹ Firth, R. et al. , op. cit.Google Scholar: Leonard, D., op. cit.Google Scholar

²⁰ E.g. Lee, G., ‘Kinship and social support: the case of the United States’. Ageing and Society, 5, (1985), 19–38.CrossRefGoogle Scholar

²¹ Rosser, C. and Harris, C. C., op. cit. p. 283.Google Scholar

²² As an illustration, consider the comments of one of Rosser and Harris's respondents, Mrs Jones, a widow in her seventies: ‘Of course, children don't look after the old people like they used to do when we were young. Children just don't care any more. When you are old they don't think you are worth bothering about. I mean you can see that with all these Homes, can't you? Children didn't put their parents in Homes in my young days, I can tell you.’ Interestingly, she proceeds to highlight some of the more subtle contradictions experienced in the relationships between elderly parents and their children: ‘Myself I think you should keep your respect, keep independent from your children, if possible. Mark you, my two are very good, I will say that. Mary comes round two or three times a week and Dave and his wife come and take me for a run in the car every Saturday which is very nice but I'd rather they didn't. You know what it is: they come round and take me out and then bring me back here at five and then- they're off. Like they were saying “There we are Mam, we've come and given you your little bit of pleasure, now we're going off to have ours!”’ (Rosser, C. and Harris, C. C., op. cit. pp. 283–4).Google Scholar

²³ Finch, J., ‘Family obligations and the life course’, in Bryman, A., Blythway, B., Allatt, P. and Keil, T. (eds), Rethinking the Life Cycle, Macmillan, Basingstoke, 1987.Google Scholar

²⁴ Firth, R. et al. , op. cit.Google Scholar: Nissel, M. and Bonnerjea, L., op. cit.Google Scholar

²⁵ Ibid. p. 32.

²⁶ Briggs, A. and Oliver, J., op. cit.Google Scholar

²⁷ In the words of Ruth Cowling, a contributor to the Briggs and Oliver collection: ‘Looking back, I see that what began as a pleasant duty became an intolerable burden’ (Ibid p. 6).

²⁸ An issue that has not been researched to any extent is the role that inheritance plays in either encouraging children to provide care for parents or making parents feel less obligated for the support they are given. This question of inheritance is certainly likely to become more pertinent as increasing numbers of elderly people have houses and other substantial assets to leave. Indeed little or nothing is known about what parents receiving care regard as a ‘fair’ distribution of their estate. Should it be split equally between all their children, or should the child providing them with most support in their old age be rewarded differentially? Either way it could be that under these circumstances matters of inheritance lead to some tension and even feuding between siblings.

²⁹ Murcott, A., ‘“It's a pleasure to cook for him”: Food, mealtimes and gender in some south Wales households’, in Gamarnikow, E., Morgan, D., Purvis, J. and Taylorson, D. (eds), The Public and The Private, Heinemann, London, 1983.Google Scholar

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³⁷ Briggs, A. and Oliver, J., op. cit.Google Scholar

³⁸ The research Janet Finch and Jennifer Mason are conducting on kinship obligations should again provide interesting information on this under-researched question, as in their study they are interviewing other kin as well as primary carers (Finch, J., op. cit.).Google Scholar

³⁹ Ungerson, C., op. cit.Google Scholar

⁴⁰ Doreen Hore, one of the contributors in the Briggs and Oliver volume, expressed this more graphically: ‘Indeed, it is circumstances, not vocation, that condemns us to bottom-washing’ (Briggs, A. and Oliver, J., op. cit. p. 80).Google Scholar

⁴¹ ‘Time spent on themselves can be seen as frivolous in their own eyes’ (ibid. p. 112). See also E.O.C., op. cit.

⁴² Such perceptions/theories may, of course, also be expressed tacitly rather than explicitly, for example by the denial that care of a particular level is actually required. See, for instance, Elizabeth Reid's account in Briggs and Oliver, , op. cit., especially p. 43.Google Scholar

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⁴⁵ Briggs, and Oliver, , op. cit.Google Scholar

⁴⁶ Graham Crow's one-time biology teacher was the source of this particular illustration of human cruelty.

⁴⁷ ‘It gradually dawned on me that my life had become more and more centred around my mother. I realised with horror that I was a clock watcher. Whatever I might want to do had to be disregarded to meet her needs. I looked for support and found none. My mother relied solely on myself.’ Lilian McSwceney in Briggs, and Oliver, , op. cit. p. 102.Google Scholar

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⁵⁰ Morris, L., ‘Renegotiation of the domestic division of labour in the context of male redundancy’, in Roberts, B., Finnegan, R. and Gallie, D. (eds), New Approaches to Economic Life, Manchester University Press, Manchester, 1985.Google Scholar

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⁵² Val Hollinghurst, one of Briggs and Oliver's contributors, wrote: ‘The risk I found hardest to take was to leave my mother alone. Shopping was done in a frantic rush and all invitations out were refused. It was bad enough to risk my mother falling while I was unavoidably out, but the ultimate sin was to risk her falling while I was enjoying myself. (Briggs, and Oliver, , op. cit. p. 18Google Scholar). Sec also Nissel, and Bonnerjea, , op. cit. p. 44.Google Scholar

⁵³ Allan, G., ‘Friendship and care for elderly people’, Ageing and Society, 6, (1986), 1–12.CrossRefGoogle Scholar

⁵⁴ Nissel, and Bonnerjea, , op. cit. p. 21.Google Scholar

⁵⁵ Ibid.: E.O.C, op. cit.

⁵⁶ Nissel, and Bonnerjea, , op. cit. p. 36.Google Scholar

⁵⁷ Firth, R. et al. , op. cit.Google Scholar: Briggs, and Oliver, , op. cit.Google Scholar

⁵⁸ ‘You're just assumed to be a “natural carer”; somehow you will magically find all the necessary physical and emotional resources to cope. It's funny when you consider the effort they go to to give new mothers advice how to handle babies - no one tells you how to handle incontinent, senile parents that spread faeces over the walls and wander off at night. Because it's not talked about, you think you should “know” and then in addition to all the other pressures, you feel guilty because you can't cope with it.’ (Oliver, Judith, quoted in E.O.C., op. cit. p. 13.)Google Scholar

⁵⁹ As Val Hollinghurst has written: ‘One of the hardest problems I have found in caring for my mother has been coming to terms with the “tangled web” of my own emotions: love, which naturally grows when you tend someone in need, mixed in with fear, resentment and guilt.’ (Briggs, and Oliver, op. cit., p. 15.)Google Scholar

⁶⁰ Ibid. p. 113.