This paper addresses the question of how families are changing in the context of transformed policies on divorce in England and Wales. However, rather than painting a picture of change through the use of statistical data, the argument will be based on qualitative data which focuses on the interiority of family and kin relationships and on the principles and reasonings that individuals give for their actions. This provides more of a ground-up perspective on social change, and prioritises the actions of parents, grandparents and children rather than focusing on the consequences of policies. It is argued that we need to recognise that the changing nature of family life pushes people to negotiate new moral codes or principles, and that this in turn is generating new ways of ‘doing’ post-divorce family life.