A myth supported by most theories of pre-adult development is that at the end of adolescence you get yourself together and, as a normal, mature adult, you enter into a relatively stable, integrated life pattern that can continue more or less indefinitely. This is a rather cruel illusion since it leads people in early adulthood to believe that they are, or should be, fully adult and settled, and that there are no more major crises or developmental changes ahead.

You can expect to feel terrible for a while…. You won't know what a parent's death is like until it happens to you…. It may be a common experience but common experiences can have profound effects.