A restorative meeting brings those responsible for a crime and those they have harmed together in the same room. One of the reasons why practitioners get excited about restorative meetings is their relative rarity, the number of restorative meetings always appearing to be disappointingly low in the statistics. As we have seen in previous chapters, there are many ‘exit routes’ before restorative justice can even be considered, which are summed up in Figure 10.1.

The timing has to be right. Different people have different timescales, which can be tricky if one side is ready and the other requires more time and preparation; someone will have to be patient. Often, the window of opportunity, before people lose interest or talk themselves out of involvement, is brief. The practitioner will aim not to be the cause of any delay themselves, and be aware that the impact of information and the insight it offers fades with time.

There are then the logistics of making arrangements so that everyone can attend. Some restorative meetings can be brought together in a matter of days. More usually, it will take two or three months from making initial contact with the parties to welcoming everyone at the start of a restorative meeting, especially if many people have been affected or if the person responsible is in prison. Each person will have been met by the practitioner at least two or three times as they shuttle between everyone, carrying messages and impressions. In serious cases requiring significant preparation, it may be years before everyone is in the same room.

Restorative meetings are tricky affairs to organise, with frequent false starts, and even the best-laid plans go awry. After all the preparation, it is not uncommon for someone to pull out at the last minute – or simply fail to turn up on the day. The practitioner will have warned both sides that this could happen, but, even so, it is a major blow all round.

Whether it is days or years, coming to a restorative meeting, reaching the point where everyone is in the same room, is little short of a triumph for the practitioner. In many ways, once everyone is sitting down, the hardest part is already over.