Cathexis, in Connell's (1987, 2005) conceptualization, referred to the ways in which intimate relationships with women are framed in relation to the wider gender order. Connell focused on these interpersonal elements as a means to focus on the ways that men's protest masculinity became incorporated in their private relations. In this chapter I will focus on the ways in which the participants conveyed their personal connections and relationships, both within and outside of life on-road. This is because the ‘ties’ developed to the gang at times functioned as replacements for other intimate relations at the time, despite being perceived as based on fear rather than friendship. When talking about their time being gang-involved, all the men in the study described there being a bond or ‘ties’ between the men in the gang. Jordan spoke frequently about being ‘tied’ to the gang, which conveyed loyalties, as well as resulting in him not being able to freely walk away and leave the gang. Jordan conveyed his affiliation to the gang during his time involved, likening them to ‘blood family’ who you are ‘willing to die for’. Dylan talked about how the gang was ‘like a family on the streets’. Shaun described the strength of feeling that he had for the gang as akin to ‘love’.

What was also revealed in the participants’ descriptions of close relationships, was the gendered hierarchy of relations. The participants’ reflections of domestic violence and abuse (DVA) perpetration presented a contradictory set of values. There was a disconnect between the espousal of anti-violence against women, as well as respect-for-women rhetoric, which was part of the narrative of the men's victimhood in childhood as they were denigrating their own fathers’ behaviour, with a disclosure from Eric of explicitly perpetrating violence against women, as well as an indication from Lester that he was at least coercively controlling the women he lived with, and they accused him of imprisoning them. Lester framed DVA as an instrumental form of power that he did not have to use, whereas Eric shifted the blame onto the women for still hanging around with the gang despite being abused.