Position at the outset

Amos (age 7) and Christopher (age 8) are brothers who were subject to interim care orders and living in foster care. They have a younger brother, John (age 2), who was living with their mother. They are of mixed race. Their mother is Asian Muslim and their father is white European. Their parents had separated and their father was seeking a residence order (see genogram, Figure 1).

The parental relationship was characterised by domestic violence, arguments, the racial abuse of the mother by the father, denial of contact with their father and the constant denigration of each parent by the other. Due to this the children's names were included on the child protection register under the category of emotional abuse, and care programmes were underway.

Assessment: children's situation

The children were experiencing a major ‘psychosocial’ change due to their parents’ divorce. Bohannen (1971) describes children of divorcing parents as experiencing a number of processes including that of the ‘psychic divorce’, in which children mourn the loss of their old family before they can adjust to their new situation. Even in the best managed divorces that is a very difficult process. Many additional factors existed within this family system, making this process more difficult. These boys had also been separated from their mother three times within six months.

Mothers who have experienced domestic violence describe their children as feeling sad and lacking self-esteem, being protective towards their mother and feeling guilty. The children displayed confusion and emotional turmoil (NCH Action for Children, 1994). Carrol (1994) states “Children who witness aggressive outbursts may be traumatised by the violent episodes themselves”.

I became aware of the impact of domestic violence on the children when Amos described witnessing his father banging his mother's head against a wall. Amos feared that her “head would crack”. Amos generally presents as outgoing and confident but as he described this incident he appeared quiet, sad, deflated and frightened. Later, while in foster care, he again mentioned this violence as if he had witnessed it recently. Amos said that he wanted to return to live with his mother to stop his parents fighting.