At least as far back as the writings of de Tocqueville, the strong emphasis on individualism in American culture coupled with a clear reliance on social integration among Americans has been viewed as a great paradox of the United States. In many ways, the issues discussed so far in this book, including and especially the educational implications of not fitting in socially at high school, are rooted in this paradox, and so are solutions to these issues. Reflecting dominant socialization messages in American culture, U.S. adults are more likely than their counterparts in other countries to stress the value of independence, autonomy, and nonconformity, and, inevitably, they send a clear message downstream – in intimate conversations, teachings, media content – that teenagers should stay true to themselves, that being different is good. Consequently, these messages have been internalized by many teenagers and, in exaggerated form, lie at the heart of American youth culture. That is why, when questioned about what influences them, the teenagers at Lamar answered with declarations of nonconformity that were so remarkably consistent that they actually, ironically, signaled a strong sense of conformity.

Beyond ideology and values, however, things get decidedly more complicated. In the “real” world, nonconformity, difference, and standing out from the crowd – as opposed to being unique, which has a more positive connotation in American culture – can be a real risk to teenagers in the social worlds of their high schools, including the virtual, wireless social arenas that are now proving to be an extension of high school peer cultures for many young people.