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2 - Selflessness and Loss of Self
Published online by Cambridge University Press: 14 January 2010
Summary
The biggest danger, that of losing oneself, can pass off in the world as quietly as if it were nothing; every other loss, an arm, a leg, five dollars, a wife, etc. is bound to be noticed.
Søren Kierkegaard, The Sickness unto DeathSacrificing one's own interests in order to serve another is, in general, supposed to be a good thing, an example of altruism, the hallmark of morality, and something we should commend to (but not always require of) the entirely-too-selfish human beings of our society. But let me recount a story that I hope will persuade the reader to start questioning this conventional philosophical wisdom. Last year, a friend of mine was talking with me about a mutual acquaintance whose two sons were in the same nursery school as our sons. This woman, whom I will call Terry, had been pregnant with twins, but one of the twins had died during the fourth month of pregnancy, and the other twin had just been born prematurely at six months with a host of medical problems. We were discussing how stressful this woman's life had been while she was pregnant: she was a housewife, and her two boys, aged three and five, were lively, challenging, often unruly – a real handful to raise. Her husband worked long hours in a law firm, so the vast majority of the child-care and household chores fell on her shoulders.
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- The Intrinsic Worth of PersonsContractarianism in Moral and Political Philosophy, pp. 39 - 71Publisher: Cambridge University PressPrint publication year: 2006