Livelihoods, as already discussed, have to be culturally appropriate. For example, in Poland it is acceptable for young single men to work abroad to save up for a car, but it is not acceptable for two parents to leave their children to do the same. On the other hand, there are other situations when it does seem to be widely acceptable for parents to leave their children behind in Poland. This chapter considers gender and parental roles as an aspect of the migration culture and of the overall gender culture within which livelihoods are framed. It explores, in turn, opinions about whether it is more appropriate for fathers to migrate than mothers; views on migration by both parents simultaneously, without their children; and levels of support for migration by parents and children together. It also considers migration culture in the sense of how migration should be done, examining the stories of the UK interviewees and how they joined their husbands in the UK. Again the focus here is on gender roles and the extent to which women had an input into the family migration strategy. Finally, the chapter investigates the migration objectives of these particular interviewees: were they predominantly economic or emotional?

Previous chapters have referred to the model of ‘incomplete migration’ that became popular in the 1990s, particularly in villages and small towns in regions such as Podlasie and Podkarpacie. One parent migrates to Western Europe, but the rest of the family stays in Poland, and the migrant returns home as often as possible. Money earned in the West is almost all spent in Poland. This model can reinforce conventional gender roles if it is the father who migrates. Migration is an act that accentuates his breadwinning role at the expense of his parenting responsibilities. On the other hand, if the mother migrates, this can have the effect of reversing conventional roles within the household. As a number of scholars have argued, women sometimes gain more self-confidence as a result of migration and begin to feel that gender roles should be more equal. Given that Polish women migrants often remain in close contact with their home communities, one might expect these new expectations to shape new patterns of gender relations back in Poland.