Skip to main content Accessibility help
×
Hostname: page-component-77c89778f8-5wvtr Total loading time: 0 Render date: 2024-07-21T11:46:29.803Z Has data issue: false hasContentIssue false

CHAP. II - SELF-DEPENDENCE

Published online by Cambridge University Press:  05 August 2011

Get access

Summary

“If you want a thing done, go yourself; if not, send.”

This pithy axiom, of which most men know the full value, is by no means so well appreciated by women. One of the very last things we learn, often through a course of miserable helplessness, heart-burnings, difficulties, contumelies, and pain, is the lesson, taught to boys from their school-days, of self-dependence.

Its opposite, either plainly or impliedly, has been preached to us all our lives. “An independent young lady”—“a woman who can take care of herself”—and such-like phrases, have become tacitly suggestive of hoydenishness, coarseness, strong-mindedness, down to the lowest depth of bloomerism, cigarette-smoking, and talking slang.

And there are many good reasons, ingrained in the very tenderest core of woman's nature, why this should be. We are “the weaker vessel”—whether acknowledging it or not, most of us feel this: it becomes man's duty and delight to show us honour accordingly. And this honour, dear as it may be to him to give, is still dearer to us to receive.

Dependence is in itself an easy and pleasant thing: dependence upon one we love being perhaps the very sweetest thing in the world. To resign one's self totally and contentedly into the hands of another; to have no longer any need of asserting one's rights or one's personality, knowing that both are as precious to that other as they ever were to ourselves; to cease taking thought about one's self at all, and rest safe, at ease, assured that in great things and small we shall be guided and cherished, guarded and helped—in fact, thoroughly “taken care of”—how delicious is all this!

Type
Chapter
Information
Publisher: Cambridge University Press
Print publication year: 2010
First published in: 1858

Access options

Get access to the full version of this content by using one of the access options below. (Log in options will check for institutional or personal access. Content may require purchase if you do not have access.)

Save book to Kindle

To save this book to your Kindle, first ensure coreplatform@cambridge.org is added to your Approved Personal Document E-mail List under your Personal Document Settings on the Manage Your Content and Devices page of your Amazon account. Then enter the ‘name’ part of your Kindle email address below. Find out more about saving to your Kindle.

Note you can select to save to either the @free.kindle.com or @kindle.com variations. ‘@free.kindle.com’ emails are free but can only be saved to your device when it is connected to wi-fi. ‘@kindle.com’ emails can be delivered even when you are not connected to wi-fi, but note that service fees apply.

Find out more about the Kindle Personal Document Service.

  • SELF-DEPENDENCE
  • Dinah Mulock Craik
  • Book: A Woman's Thoughts about Women
  • Online publication: 05 August 2011
  • Chapter DOI: https://doi.org/10.1017/CBO9780511751257.003
Available formats
×

Save book to Dropbox

To save content items to your account, please confirm that you agree to abide by our usage policies. If this is the first time you use this feature, you will be asked to authorise Cambridge Core to connect with your account. Find out more about saving content to Dropbox.

  • SELF-DEPENDENCE
  • Dinah Mulock Craik
  • Book: A Woman's Thoughts about Women
  • Online publication: 05 August 2011
  • Chapter DOI: https://doi.org/10.1017/CBO9780511751257.003
Available formats
×

Save book to Google Drive

To save content items to your account, please confirm that you agree to abide by our usage policies. If this is the first time you use this feature, you will be asked to authorise Cambridge Core to connect with your account. Find out more about saving content to Google Drive.

  • SELF-DEPENDENCE
  • Dinah Mulock Craik
  • Book: A Woman's Thoughts about Women
  • Online publication: 05 August 2011
  • Chapter DOI: https://doi.org/10.1017/CBO9780511751257.003
Available formats
×