Two cross-national women's organisations, one in Northern Ireland the other in Bosnia-Herzegovina, are observed here in interaction with each other. The article explores the connection between their ability to sustain such cross-community alliances and their choice to be women's projects. In so doing, it addresses the question ‘are feminism and nationalism compatible?’ Not all the women are ‘anti-nationalist’ in philosophy, but they draw distinctions between variants of nationalism, and may be described as ‘anti-essentialist’. The article distinguishes between variants of ‘feminism’, recognising it, too, as a plurality of movements. An anti-essentialist understanding of ethnicity and nation is partnered in both the Network and Medica by an anti-essentialist feminism, in which a woman's family role is minimised and value placed instead on her autonomy and agency. Certain forms of feminism and nationalism are thus compatible – but the configuration may be progressive or retrograde.