“Suppose that, on leaning down to tie up your shoe laces, your hands suddenly grasped a knife and a fork, and, then, instead of your shoes, there appeared a plate of beefsteak; that, on cutting into the steak, you discovered not a juicy morsel, but five hairy beetles; and that these, instead of running to the edge of the plate, opened their mouths and sang ‘Hail Columbia!’ in deep bass voices.”