Case study:

Joseph's story

Joseph (Respondent 5) is 18 years old, he was aged 9–12 when his parents separated. Having viewed the PSV he thought that it was realistic and said that it showed some of how he felt when his parents separated. He found out that they were separating at the time of his father leaving and was told what was happening by his mother.

After separation he lived with his mother and sisters. Apart from no longer living with his father there was no change in his living arrangements or the school he attended.

When asked whether his views were taken into account about any changes, he replied:

After separation he lost contact with his father. He described his thoughts and feelings at the time:

He felt supported by his mother, grandmother and grandfather, but identified no one to whom he could talk. He explained:

He would have liked the opportunity to talk to someone outside the family about what was happening, he was unsure who that might be but thought that:

‘It might have helped, it was a bit lonely at home sometimes.’

Asked how he feels about the changes now, he says simply:

Joseph had a medium level of accommodation.

This chapter focuses on communication, specifically the quality of communication that parents had with their children during separation, and when making post-separation arrangements. Respondents’ accounts showed that this varied widely, with some children given explanations about what was happening and feeling included in decisions about postseparation arrangements and others receiving little or no explanation, and having to make sense of the situation themselves. The opportunity to maintain contact with their non-resident parent was a key aspect of the quality of parental communication which children experienced.

To understand children's experience of parental communication, their accounts were examined to establish when respondents learned about their parents’ separation and who told them (Question 7), and when post-separation changes happened, whether their views were taken into account and if so, in what way (Question 12).