The message of this chapter is similar to that of the last one: our tax and benefits structure should reflect today's family and household patterns, and should remain serviceable as household and family patterns continue to change.

So we shall begin with a discussion of the ways in which households and the family have changed during the past half century; and then ask what kind of benefits system today's families require, and how that compares with the benefits system constructed in an era with rather different social structures. Finally we shall ask what kind of benefits system will most benefit women and enhance individual dignity.

The changing family

Whereas a generation ago someone might have lived with their parents until they married and moved in with a partner, or moved in with a partner and then married, today the only generalisation that we can make is that the situation is diverse. A young adult might share a house or a flat with people they know, or with people they don’t. If they have a partner, whether of the same gender or of a different gender, then they might live apart, they might live together, or they might rotate regularly through a variety of household patterns. A mother and her child might live with the child's father, might leave him and move in with the child's grandmother (on either side), and might then form a household with a friend and her child. Are we discussing families or households here? The fact that we can use the two terms almost interchangeably, and that precise definitions of either of them are difficult to construct, is symptomatic of the fluid nature of today's social structures.

We have known some of the basic trends for some time, but research undertaken for the Centre for the Modern Family shows just how diverse families in the UK now are, and how diverse people's attitudes to the family are too. In 1961, 38% of families consisted of a married couple with two or more children, but by 2011 ‘just 16% of the UK population believe that they fit the “traditional model”. In short, there has been a meltdown in the traditional nuclear family.’