When discussing the relationship between fathers and their adult sons after the son’s marriage the primary sources tend to focus on two aspects: the role of the father in guiding and aiding his son in his career, and the duty of the son to respect, obey and care for his father. Secondary to these, but still common, is an idealisation of father-son relationships as being mutually affectionate and friendly. These are not the aspects that have been studied so far in the secondary literature, however, where attention has tended to be focused firmly on the idea of father-son generational tension with a particular focus on the role of money in such tensions. Yet the stories and anecdotes drawn from the chronicles and histories which make up such studies on generational tensions are almost exclusively the preserve of the royal families and, from the seventh and eighth centuries onward, the political elites of dukes and counts. As with so many aspects of what has been traditionally seen as common familial practice, these conflicts appear to have been confined to the royal household, at least where the reporters of such conflicts are concerned. Outside of the royal family, the only area where father-son conflicts are reported is in hagiography where there is the trope of sons refusing their father’s desire for them to marry. Here, as with the corresponding trope for female hagiographical subjects, the aim is not necessarily to provide an accurate account of a father-son relationship, but to present the breaking of the cultural norm of a close and respectful relationship as being a profoundly Christian and special one.

The role of the father as a moral and practical guide to his grown sons is made clear in a number of sources, particularly the fifth-century Gallo-Roman letters between fathers and sons. Thus, both Ruricius and Sidonius include in their collections letters to or about their sons. Sidonius describes his paternal relationship with his adult son Apollinaris as being ‘one of those fathers who are so eager, so apprehensive and so ambitious about the progress of their sons that they hardly ever find anything to commend, or if they do, are hardly ever satisfied’.