Becoming ‘Mais Nada’ (Nothing Anymore)

The majority of the bairro women report that their first sexual experience was shrouded in ignorance. This holds across generations. For instance, in the case of 36-year-old Nilzete and 18-year-old Francisca, their first experiences of sexuality did not involve sexual contact but rather an accusation of illicit sexual activity. For both women, it was their first knowledge of themselves in terms of a particular body part. In this case it was the vagina. As the following accounts illustrate, this recognition of themselves as a gendered body was characterized by feelings of shame and loss. It was when they learned that they were ‘mais nada’ (nothing anymore). Nilzete provides the first account, where she talks about her experiences from almost 27 years ago, and Francisca the second, where she describes what happened to her five years ago.