You've heard the expression “Talk is cheap.” Now consider the remarkable influence of “talking” on our feelings, attitudes, perceptions, knowledge, skills, and behavior. You cannot deny the fact that talking is the most cost-effective intervention we have to improve the human dynamics of any situation. Simply put, both the quantity and the quality of AC4P behavior can be influenced by interpersonal and intrapersonal conversation. Our interpersonal communication, or how we talk to others, can influence their AC4P behavior directly or indirectly by affecting their current attitude and person-states, which in turn can increase their propensity to perform AC4P behavior, as covered in Chapter 2.

Our intrapersonal communication, or how we talk to ourselves, directs our own behavior and influences our attitude and person-states. We can commend ourselves for our AC4P behavior, and thereby increase the probability of performing another kind act. Plus, we use self-talk to direct our ongoing activity, which could include AC4P behavior. Furthermore our self-talk can increase our sense of self-efficacy and personal control regarding the successful performance of an act of kindness, as well as optimism that our kind act will result in beneficial consequences, including an increased sense of self-esteem and belonging for our self and the beneficiary. Thus, the intervention power of conversation to ourselves and others is compelling and prevailing.

Prior chapters in this book have already covered aspects of effective conversation. For example, guidelines for communicating supportive and corrective feedback and for celebrating group achievements were provided in Chapter 3, and techniques for giving and receiving positive words of recognition for AC4P behavior were covered in Chapter 4. Plus, each of the six social-influence principles explained in the next chapter (Chapter 6) involves interpersonal communication to some extent. This chapter brings us to some basics in communicating more effectively to others and to ourselves, with the overall mission of increasing the quantity and improving the quality of AC4P behavior. Yes, talk is cheap, but it can make or break our efforts to cultivate an AC4P culture of compassion.

THE POWER OF CONVERSATION

Let's start with a common-sense bottom line: Participation in AC4P conversations is key to preventing interpersonal conflict and cultivating cultures of compassion and caring.