Few books in recent memory more effectively capture the essence of loneliness than Olivia Laing's The Lonely City: Adventures in the Art of Being Alone. In her book, Laing recounts her story of moving from the United Kingdom to New York, falling in love with a man and yet soon after finding herself “unexpectedly unhinged.” Laing's first years in New York are characterized by a lingering loneliness, “a feeling of separation, of being walled off or penned in,” this “combine[d] with a sense of near- unbearable exposure.” Integrating autobiography, cultural criticism and social science, Laing's work is among the most poignant in a recent stream of books and articles dedicated to the theme of loneliness.

Much has been written about loneliness in past years, as researchers, journalists and writers such as Laing attempt to grapple with an aspect of the human condition about which we are acutely aware in modern life. Loneliness is a state with which many struggle, but there is surprisingly little constructive dialogue on this topic. Why is this? Laing offers several responses. First, individuals are fearful of exploring the topic, given that it is “hard to describe.” She references the psychiatrist Frieda Fromm- Reichmann, who writes, “The writer who wishes to elaborate on loneliness is faced with a serious terminological handicap: Loneliness seems to be such a painful, frightening experience that people do practically everything to avoid it.” A second consideration is that loneliness turns others away. It is possible to sense when others are lonely, as they shut off and attempt to protect themselves. This makes it increasingly difficult for lonely people to emerge from this state, creating what Laing considers a “virtuous cycle […] a prophylactic that inhibits contact, no matter how badly contact is desired.”

Other considerations relate to what we have already seen in Part II. In a hyperconnected society, it is assumed that individuals are usually connected, this simply being the default state in our daily communications. Moreover, given the propensity for millennials to share what they do, terms such as openness and inclusivity come to dominate thinking about how we should live. Loneliness seems antithetical to the openness that we so value.