Published: Civil and Military Gazette, 4 July 1887.

Attribution: In Scrapbook 3 (28/3, p. 6).

Text: Civil and Military Gazette.

Notes: Unrecorded and unreprinted. RK has altered the title to ‘An Old Story’ on the cutting in Scrapbook 3. The story is one of the items that RK chose for the unpublished Book of the Forty-Five Mornings. That would be one reason for changing the title. Another is the fact that the story is closely modelled on a story of the same title by the American H. C. Bunner that appeared in Stories by American Authors, vol. iv, New York, 1884. That story begins thus: ‘Newe York, ye 1stM Aprille, 1883. / Ye worste of my ailment is this, yt groweth not Less with much nursing …’ and so on. Like RK's, Bunner's story concerns a jealous lover.

Being extracts from the Diary of C. Heymann Esq.

Monday.––It came to me this Morn on my Awakening yt I was a Beaste; my evil Conscience helping my more evill Heade to this sad End. Six of ye Queen's Officers – most ungodly Men and never slaked no more than ye Dust – had me to Mess overnighte; I foolishly consenting and taking, Lord knows, thrice as much of thrice as many Mixings of their Drinkes as was right for me: my Stomach being always tender and ye Heate extreme. A half of a Sheep's Tongue to Breakfaste and a Gallon of Soda Water wh. I make no sort of doubt, was devised for sinful Soules. Videlicet Christopher Heymann.

Sware a great Oathe to go to Messes no more till ye Heate be abated, or ye Queen's Captains have browst more gentle Drinkes.

In ye Verandah after Breakfaste, awaiting a Letter wh. never came, and laughed at myself for a Foole, who am so put in such an Extremity of Trouble and Unreste because She will not write dailie from ye Hills to a poore, sweltering, swilling Wretche – to wit Christopher Heymann yt loved Her since She first came to this accursed Land.

To Office, and on ye Way beat my Horse – a better than I – because of ye Letter, he running as fast as mighte be in ye Sun. Being angry with Myselfe for being vext, did beat him afresh and he kickt out ye Splashe- Board. A new one. This lies to my Charge.