165 Thomas Thorp to James Gooden, 4 September 1841

My dear Mr Gooden

I don’t know on what terms to commence a letter to you after the communication made to me by Mr Jenkins (in addition to a letter from Mr Law) which has followed me to this place. Perhaps I should be more seemingly considerate of your feelings if I were to abstain from intruding upon your sorrow: but I find I can do nothing else till this weight is removed from my mind.

Heaven knows, there is nothing to be said about it, but to submit to, and kiss, the chastening rod. For myself I can truly say that this blow has more than anything else in my life weakened the hold of Trinity College on my regards. I feel as I could willingly, I had almost said gladly, go away now.

Few persons of his strong mind had shewn such a disposition to bend it to the suggestions of those whose authority and affectionate interest in his welfare gave them claims to his duty and regard. Of course I speak of myself particularly: I had some remarkable opportunities of verifying what I have just alluded to. He had also realised perhaps more than any other pupil anticipations I had formed and opinions I had expressed, in contradiction to others who had not similar means of ascertaining the intrinsic excellence of his character and abilities. In fact he came up under disadvantages: but he had time to show what he was worth. I had undertaken to examine for Fellowships this time, when strongly urged not to do so on account of my health, with particular view to his examination; for, independently of the obligation I feel never to pass by any of those College duties, which come down to me in turn, I should not have been easy not to have seen him safe through. How little do we see the end of our plans and anticipations.

I will not intrude upon you more at present: indeed I write this with pain: I am hunched up, and ill, and every thing is distasteful to me.