The right and wrong way of thinking about Happiness

I don't know you, but I know that you have a list inside your head.

On that list are a number of items that you think you need to be okay. Food, drink, shelter, being in good health – those kinds of things are probably on there. Work, love, home – they are most likely on there too. There may also be more specific things, particularly suited to you and your personality: dance music, feeling the sun on your face, watching football, drinking coffee, eating chocolate and so on. And there may be more serious things, which you probably think should be on everyone's list: doing no harm, being kind, paying taxes.

Most books about happiness are about this list. And so many books have been written about happiness because there is a lot to say about our lists. We currently live in a culture that encourages us to create lists that are as long and wide-ranging as possible – to pursue the perfect job, relationship, home, body and mind. We can have it all, so long as we work hard enough. And if something isn't possible yet, we can invent a new product or service that makes it so.

This strategy has taken us a long way. A lot of people now take many of the things on our lists for granted – the basic stuff, such as food, drink and shelter. But this is a very modern, and privileged, situation to be in. In fact, over the past 250 years, Western societies have been so successful at guaranteeing these things that the list itself has come to be of primary importance. People didn't always have lists in their heads. Or, at least, their lists were not so extravagant and readily achievable as our lists are today.

Our lists have come to dominate our lives. And the word we use to describe the achievement of their items is ‘happiness’. More so than at any other point in history, we think we can have all the basic and inspiring and worthwhile things on our list. Happiness seems to be within our grasp.

Most books written about happiness take all this as a given, and dutifully promise to help you on your path to personal fulfilment. This is the realm of self-help.