In a sense, a woman's relationship with her baby begins not only before birth but before conception; it has roots in her own babyhood, in the way she herself was ‘mothered’. Also important are the messages sent and received throughout childhood and adolescence that, decoded, read: women need babies, babies need mothers. Myth, fantasy and the economics of reproduction under capitalism are all jumbled up, but the effect is powerful. Most women by the time they achieve motherhood have, from these various sources, some idea about how mothers do (or should) feel about their babies.

First Encounters

Bloody, messy, screaming, demanding, the emergence of the baby throws cold water on old ideas. A mother's first opportunity to confront the reality of the baby occurs as he or she comes out of the vagina.

Did you see the baby being born?

CLARE DAWSON: Mary, 6lbs 12ozs

There was a head there one minute and the next minute - one minute it seemed to be just a little bit of her head and the next minute she was there. Before she was fully born, she cried. Yes I remember that: I remember her head coming out and I could see her just screaming her head off, it was just incredible, she wasn't even born and she was screaming … I think that is when I began to cry and I thought I’ve done it! It is a very emotional moment, that is.

JOSÉ BRYCE: Suzy, 8lbs 6ozs, forceps delivery

I saw her when the head was born and the sister came and sucked stuff out of her mouth … and then I saw her when she was actually out and I saw this bloody little thing going over there … I didn't care anyway.