Book contents
- Frontmatter
- Contents
- New Introduction
- Preface to the Original Edition
- 1 Childbirth and the ‘Position’ of Women
- 2 In the Beginning
- 3 Remember, Pregnancy is a State of Health
- 4 Journey into the Unknown
- 5 The Agony and the Ecstasy
- 6 Mother and Baby
- 7 Learning the Language of the Child
- 8 Menus
- 9 Domestic Politics
- 10 Into a Routine
- 11 Lessons Learnt
- 12 Mothers and Medical People
- Endnote – Being Researched
- Notes and References
- Appendix List of Characters
7 - Learning the Language of the Child
Published online by Cambridge University Press: 14 April 2022
- Frontmatter
- Contents
- New Introduction
- Preface to the Original Edition
- 1 Childbirth and the ‘Position’ of Women
- 2 In the Beginning
- 3 Remember, Pregnancy is a State of Health
- 4 Journey into the Unknown
- 5 The Agony and the Ecstasy
- 6 Mother and Baby
- 7 Learning the Language of the Child
- 8 Menus
- 9 Domestic Politics
- 10 Into a Routine
- 11 Lessons Learnt
- 12 Mothers and Medical People
- Endnote – Being Researched
- Notes and References
- Appendix List of Characters
Summary
It's so difficult to analyse what you feel. Occasionally I sit there and say what can I do? Why won't she go to sleep? And my husband says this is what you’ve always wanted. …
I used to think how can these people do these things to babies? But you know when you’ve had about ten minutes’ sleep in two weeks or something like this … because all the time you’re not sleeping, when you go to bed you’re still listening, you’re always listening. And I was always rocking. I used to walk down the street and Mum used to say to me, Hilary you’re rocking. And I was! I’d stand in a shop waiting in the queue and I’d be rocking.
Homecoming
Coming out of hospital may feel like leaving prison, but prison is also security and being free means feeling trapped.
In hospital, biological motherhood is achieved, but the social role of mother is only rehearsed; the stage is set with uniformed figures whose job it is to care for mother and baby: motherhood is unreal when it is acted out in an institution away from ringing doorbells, hungry husbands, well-meaning mothers-in-law and dirty carpets.
So the day comes …
It was an extraordinary feeling driving home, a peculiar feeling … I sat on the sofa and I felt very happy to be home and very very disoriented. I felt as if I’d been abroad and come back after a summer holiday … (Ellen George)
I don't know, the whole house felt strange to me. And I felt strange. I thought I was going to a new place I’d never been before. (Grace Bower)
At home the baby is finally the mother's possession.
When I first held the baby I couldn't believe it actually. I don't think I believed it all the time I was in hospital. I kept saying that it felt as if at the end of the stay there they were going to say right, we’ll take it back now. It's not until you get home that you feel they are yours I don't think. Because everything is hospital property. Everything belongs to them while you’re in there. (June Hatchard)
- Type
- Chapter
- Information
- From Here to Maternity (Reissue)Becoming a Mother, pp. 130 - 154Publisher: Bristol University PressPrint publication year: 2018