Parents and professionals face a dilemma when dealing with children's violent and self-destructive behaviors. The behavior of these children is characterized by lack of boundaries, uncontainable outbursts, and an ever growing readiness to go to extremes. Most of these children are deeply averse to being supervised or guided by their parents or by other responsible adults. When a confrontation arises, they usually convey the message: “Leave me alone!” or “I am the boss!” The parents of these children inevitably find out that their usual ways of reacting, or those suggested by professionals, are ineffectual. When they try the way of reprimands, threats, and punishments, the child responds in kind, escalating the aggressive behaviors. When they opt for the way of persuasion, acceptance, and understanding, the child often not only ignores these gestures, but also reacts with contempt. The home, which should be a safe haven for the family, becomes then a battlefield where the slightest disagreement may turn into a violent clash. No wonder that, sooner or later, the parents become exhausted and opt for submission, which at least promises a temporary quiet.

This quiet, however, proves illusory. It soon becomes apparent that parental submission leads to an increase in the child's demands. The relationship then gets caught in a vicious circle: parental submission→growing demands by the child→growing parental frustration and hostility → retaliation by the child → parental submission, and so forth.