Of the many parents who approached us to help them deal with their children's aggressive behavior, a subgroup emerged (consisting of about 20 percent of the cases) where the children's aggressiveness was almost never manifested outside the household but was part of their attempt to take control of the house or immure themselves in the “fortress” of their own rooms. Any attempt by the parents to challenge the child's control or self-immurement was met with violence. Most of these children exhibited also obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) symptoms or traits.

These violent patterns in children with OCD tendencies have not been described in the professional literature. We think there are two reasons for the professional disregard of this phenomenon. (1) The violence may more easily be kept secret, as it occurs only within the confines of the home, and (2) the prevailing wisdom views compulsive disorders as internalizing rather than externalizing disorders. According to this view, only externalizing disorders become manifest in violent behavior, while internalizing ones are linked to reserved and shy behavior. Violence in children with OCD tendencies shatters this convention, and this might be the reason it has so far eluded professional scrutiny.

CONTROLLING CHILDREN

Children who exhibit this pattern are not violent outside the household at all. In fact, they are usually good students, and sometimes they are socially popular, although some of them are reserved and timid. The common denominator of their behavior outside the family is meticulousness and high performance standards.