While the great powers of Kongo were seeking reconciliation, Dona Beatriz was getting married. Women in Kongo married young, probably almost as soon as they were likely to bear children. Since Dona Beatriz had ceased her life as a nganga, at least for the time being, her relatives wanted to have her married. Like aristocrats everywhere, Dona Beatriz would have little control over her marriage, which was a matter for the senior men of her kanda to decide for her. It did not mean that she was completely unable to influence the events, if she had ideas of her own, but girls of her age rarely had made any choices.

She had grown tall and was physically attractive, and for this reason, along with her station in life, her elders were soon beset with suggested suitors. Eventually a likely young man appeared, bearing gifts and asking for her hand. The men clustered together, bargaining hotly over the mbongo za longo, the “bride wealth.” Depending on how one looks at it, bride wealth was either a compensation to her family for losing her services, or it was a means to create a financial reason for her family to support her marriage. In any case, bride wealth was paid by the kanda of the husband to that of the wife. Should the marriage fail, the bride wealth would have to be returned.