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When I was selling drugs I was always thinking about the money. I didn’t actually see the effect it has on the users.

Published online by Cambridge University Press:  25 April 2023

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Summary

My lowest moment was going to prison for the first time when I was 18. I got 30 months for robbery. I didn’t target kids or anything like that. I was targeting rich people. Looking out for who’s got a Rolex or a pinkie ring. It wasn’t desperation. I just wanted more money.

I was born and raised in Brixton, in Angell Town. We had drug dealers in our area and we looked up to them as father figures. They would look after us. It wasn’t necessarily grooming. It was ‘Here’s £100 of coins – change up £70 and keep the rest’. When I turned 15 I thought, ‘This looks easy. I’m sure I can do this as well.’ I decided to buy my own drugs and build my own line. I was making between three and four grand a day. It was great. I’m not gonna lie. Anyone that says they didn’t enjoy the lifestyle is chatting rubbish.

Back then you weren’t peer-pressured to go into a gang. You could walk anywhere and wouldn’t get into trouble. Nowadays, if I’m wearing a tracksuit and I go somewhere, a lot of young kids look at me like they wanna have a fight. It’s different now compared to back in the day. The kids are more forward and will get into selling drugs, they’ll be in gangs, but I think most of them don’t actually want to go to prison. They’d rather stay in school, go to college, university, and get a job. Most of the violent crimes – the shootings and stabbings – are being committed by kids that are under 21.

A lot more kids are getting peer pressured into joining gangs. People join for protection. Some gangs form a type of bond where you’re like a little family unit. They always say you’re stronger in numbers. But if you’re not in a gang, and you’re just by yourself and doing the right thing, you’re strong anyway.

I’ve been to prison three times for three sentences. But I don’t think it actually hit home the first time, ‘cause you’re thinking, ‘I’ve got this amount of years for these drugs – I’m gonna come out and do the same again, ‘cause I need that fast money.’

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Invisible Britain
Portraits of Hope and Resilience
, pp. 65 - 67
Publisher: Bristol University Press
Print publication year: 2018

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