Sir James did not appear at dinner: he complained of the head-ach, and came down very late. He seemed melancholy, and I was embarrassed. I cannot express to you how much I fear an explanation. I will avoid it, if I can. Must my Lord Ossory then be always present to me? Can nothing efface the remembrance of that ingrate? Must he afflict me without ceasing! – What an idea must Sir James entertain of a woman, who weeps because an amiable man loves her tenderly! Aman whose birth is equal to hers, whose fortune is very considerable – Oh, my dear Henrietta, I have a heart incomprehensible, feeble, and I think, contemptible. Those qualities, those virtues, which were the basis of our friendship, you alone possess; for me, I have no more than the appearance of them. A cruel passion, a constancy ill placed, have destroyed my natural disposition, and changed my character. I still retain the same principles, but I swerve from them: I act contrary to the clearest lights. I cannot rise above this vile half of myself, this feeble machine, to which the least impulse brings back the impression of its first tender emotions. Chide me harshly, I entreat you: I stand in need of your utmost severity.

But by what ill fate must Sir James and Sir Harry persecute me? I can love nothing, I would not be beloved. The one is silent, pursues me every where, and is angry: the other speaks in a tone of voice, and with expressions that – Have men but one language? – Why has his made me call to remembrance? – Am I so much to blame, my dear? tell me – You are so kind to my faults, that my friendship for you forces me to reproach them doubly. If you find me ridiculous, yet do not love me less.